My Simple Sketches depicting the Lifecycle of Grief
You never realise how clueless you are until it happens to you, the questions with no answers, the unknown procedures and routines that you’re expected to follow but no one showed you how. How to make that phonecall or type that email? How to formulate those sentences to explain that they’re not here anymore?
Is this what it feels like? I feel strange shooting pains to the left of my body, I’m drawing blanks. Trying to understand and process but missing the mark. It’s like aiming at a target that I was never trained for yet. I try to carry on and act like it’s all pretend, a tragic theatre show. A somewhat foggy, surreal reality that I’ll wake up from any minute now.
Yet there’s a dormant resistance telling me, I’m wrong.
I push through the sensations and try to find a way through. Embrace the get back to normal, everyday routine. Yet all it takes is one mundane trigger to wound up me again and those sensations pour straight through, flooding me with pain. Reminding me that it’s real and not dream. No pinch or punch will wake me up from this reality.
Right here and right now, this is where I am at, in limbo, walking a tightrope and floating in mid air. The absence of presence and the presence of absence. Still wondering if it’s you or is it me in this horrible nightmare.
There’s a war going on with my head and my heart. On one side there’s deep seated feelings of regret. That God didn’t fix and make them better. That there was no final goodbye or hug before they slipped away and took their final breath…
Yet, on the other side true to the promise they lived by. I know there’s joy and hope in the air fuelled by the beautiful memories that were shared. The promise of our Saviour’s second return as mentioned in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18.
Where we will meet again when Christ resurrects those who believed in Him first. Then those that remain and believed the promise too will have the beautiful awakening of meeting Him too. To God Be Glory…
Song of Inspiration
God Be The Glory by We Are Messengers
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